1.30.25

invest in monster energy & more diet soda & more gum

ill do my scientific best.... to command your fleet...

it's STILL january. but im high. so all is well.. :-) i binged yesterday so i have to really restrict today i had a little donut hole it was like 90-120 calories. idk why i ate it i think cause i was super mega high god i missed weed so much. im gonna try to increase my tolerance like no tomorrow lol and get high every fucking day i need this so bad. omg i forgot to call my sister last night fuuck i was so tired bro i have to stop going to bed late. i think life is about to get so good tbh. im so excited. yayyyyyy

i want an offputting 5'7 boy with constantly dilated eyes to enter my life and have the most fun ive ever had thus far with me

i cant stop listening to crystal castles lol. im so hyperaware of myself now i feel like i just uncovered some government secret operation but it was my own psyche behind it :p it's comforting, it's nice, i like to know i always have myself and now i know when and when not to say things

la cocaina no es buena para tu salu-u-u-ud

my first exposure was 2020 so all of their trending songs from that time are the ones nearest to my heart lol

fuckkk the assisstant principle just walked in im so done i have the wrong pants and the wrong sweater lolol

heres what i wrote last night:

breath is let out, a thin film of spit standing as the last line of moisture in this decrepit dry body. it feels neither hot nor cold. it feels like over the counter medicine. my fingertips detach, my head as well, my feet as well. this body is failing on me, its soul too wretched to bear. it'll last me another 20 years, maybe 40, if nobody else intervenes. i'm warm in all the wrong places. im made of paper, and fulfillment tries to puncture my form as it is profound in nature (albeit sometimes simple) but it only finds air on the other side. i take it like a knife and stab myself with it a thousand times to try and see if there's a sweet spot of humanity in me. if maybe the minute i feel a seething white pain, if maybe i hear the squelch of flesh, if maybe red spills onto me, i'll have a future. but to no avail. this existence is characterized by the pursuit of images, and what incentives there are behind pursuing them. this existence is whatever feels good, and the rest is trying my best to lie. i'm not a very nice person to be around. but that is hard to accept, so i become something else much sweeter

im so dramatic lol